Wicked step mother

Who would choose to be a wicked step mother? They always come to a deserved sticky end, even if it's only being booed off the pantomime stage! Becoming step mother to three beautiful step daughters and a handsome step son was never going to be a career move. But it brings joy including emails like this:
Dear Nana,

I was reading a poem book to Mummy and I found a poem about a stepmother. Mummy thought you might like it because you are a stepmother yourself. It is very funny in some parts so I hope you will enjoy it.

The Wicked Stepmother

I expected her to wear hobnail boots
Beneath a stiff brown skirt.
I expected her to screech
Like a throttled parrot:
“No you can’t go to the ball,
the ball”
Or
“Scrub that floor again!”

I just knew she would offer me
Shiny poisoned apples;
Hide all my party invitations;
Spend hours asking the mirror
Leading questions
Then take me into a forest
And leave me there.

I pictured her waiting
For the postman
To deliver a parcel
Containing my torn-out heart

I thought I would have to
Grow my hair
Until it was long enough
To hang out of high windows

I imagined pinning all my hopes
On a mountaineering prince
Armed with a chainsaw
And a first aid manual.
Or the kindness of seven
Short men.

So imagine my surprise
When an ordinary-looking person arrived
Who likes fairy tales too.


Lindsay Macrae