Sunday spring flowers

Our bluebell walk is in our own garden. These are real English bluebells. Aren't we lucky?

Brasenose reunion lunch

Husband arranged with his university friends to have a reunion now that they've all retired (more or less). They all seem pretty active for retirees, but now they are doing what they want to do, rather than for the sake of supporting family, mortgage or pleasing an employer.



We had a champagne starter. Then moved to a private room for the meal. The food was splendid, with wine to match.





Even better, I realised that one of the other women is a research student in the same year as me at the OU.


I love meals with people, long slow meals with good company, food and wine. This is the style to which I hope my husband accustoms me.

RAF HW

I went to an exhilarating meeting of the Institute of Chartered Managers at RAF High Wycombe, for a behind the scenes view of Air command. The fascinating talk was on leadership and was an MBA useful?

The charismatic speaker - a squadron leader with 2500+ hours of Tornado flying, after a tour of duty, leaving Basra, viewing the Euphrates and the Tigris and thinking he might want to come back and visit later, meaning in five or six years, finds himself back in weeks but this time in charge of the airport and airfield. This squadron leader becomes Group Captain Dean Andrew.

The brief is to get the airfield ready to hand over to the Americans at an unknown date, and the airport ready to hand back to the Iraqis at some unknown date, and not to let each party know when about each other. In the meantime, the insurgents are launching 125+ rocket attacks a week at the airfield, an area one and a half times as big as Heathrow airport.

The airport had been built in 1983, but never had air traffic through because the Iran-Iraq war happened soon after, and there were the two gulf wars. Group Capt Andrew used a variety of resources - the ground force (I didn't realise the RAF had one) to defined the no man's land by the airfields and make sure no rockets got launched there. Every day these men worked in 66F in the heat of the midday sun - "mad dogs and English men ..."

He mapped out the stakeholders with high/low power against ability to influence, so he could identify people he really needed to work with. He recognised the cultural challenges of difference between English, American and Iraqi. The cultural difference probably saved his life. The RAF was not exactly very welcome; the insurgents bombed their offices two weeks after he arrived. The insurgents chose a Sunday morning, which is an ordinary working day for Iraqis, but a day for church (or whatever) for the British, so the office was empty.

He prioritised his day by working hard from 7am to 11 pm, but spent the first couple of hours doing the most important things - allocating jobs and trusting people to do what they had to do.

"Understanding culture builds trust"

He built trust. Having some spare money he could have spent it on something important to Westerners, like fixing the luggage carousels,but he asked the Iraqi airport manager, who wanted pot plants, because that what made an impression in Iraqis eyes. Dean Andrew got someone in the UK to fly out such pot plants within 48 hours - thus earning the trust of the Iraqi manager, who was so grateful that he invited Dean Andrew to break the end of the Ramadan fast with him and has invited him to return with his wife.

He handed over the airport to the Iraqis in January 2009. And did the MBA help?
This was about leadership, not management, so depends on personality. The RAF didn't know he had an MBA when he put in there - he was put in because they'd already seen his leadership qualities, and whilst he used knowledge from his MBA studies (e.g. case studies of other airports), it was the leadership that mattered.

Last of Isle of Wight

On Friday we visited Dimbola, a photographic museum commemorating Mrs Julia Cameron, an early portrait photographer of the mid nineteenth century. She worked with Tennyson too, to illustrate some of his romantic poetry. Tennyson had lived on the IoW, so I read some of the "Lady of Shallot" to grand daughter, glanced at Ulysses and enjoyed the rhythm of the "The Charge of the Light Brigade".

We came back via Winchester stopping off to visit the cathedral, and heard before we saw some wonderful drummers.

Isle of Wight visit

Thursday was our nicest day on the island, starting with a gentle walk over the Downs to the battery, somewhat slowly because grand daughter had a tummy ache so bent double like an old lady with osteoporosis and a sack of potatoes on her back. We sang "The Battle of Waterloo" to get us marching. She cheered up when we reached the chairlifts (videoed when I can get YouTube to accept my upload) and she sketched the needles while her brother threw stones into the sea. Grandpa searched for different coloured chalks from the cliff for her to experiment sketching with. Then we walked back over the downs. We met a man with a bouncy dog. It ran circles round grandson, whilst the man announced that the dog was frightened of children. It didn't look frightened of grandson; it looked like it wanted to play and it ran more circles round him, while he got more and more nervous. Then the poor child fell over. Man called dog, stroked his nose gently and murmured lovingly "bad dog". Grandson picked himself up, covered with dusty chalk, a bit bruised and he bit his lip. He nearly cried, but he is so plucky, and we told him so. Plucky was another new word that we'd collected that day. Plucky grandson.

In the afternoon we went down to Freshwater Bay, a pebbly but pleasant beach and the sun came out. An elderly woman was collecting seaweed. Yesterday on 'The Apprentice' the competitors had been collecting seaweed to make soaps. I wondered to husband how to do it. He suggested I ask elderly lady. "Excuse me." She told me she was collecting the bright green weed to eat. You had tow ash it very carefully and well, put it in the microwave for 30 secs and it was good with pasta. She also had been collecting rock samphire and gave me some to taste. Delicious, like a succulent parley. I went where she suggested to collect some, which I mixed with tomatoes for a salad. Husband and I liked it but not the grand children. Someone told me how her grandmother in law used to have it in a soup with hot milk.

The seaweed was even less successful, so I think I'll find out how to use it in soap instead of eating it.

Isle of Wight Youth Hostel

We're at this lovely Victorian place. I love the big rooms, the bare polished floor boards, the way people talk to you, are happy that you've got children. The first I noticed of this little girl was her feet flying past the window as she was practising her cartwheels. Granddaughter and little girl made friends being in same year at school.

Youth hostels have changed. They provide sheets for your bed so you don't have to take your sleeping bag like you used to. This one offers an evening meal and breakfast, English or continental. Continental is affordable and filling: muesli, cereal, jam, butter, toast, white rolls, croissant, pain au chocolat, cheese, ham, yoghurt, boiled egg. No-one has asked me to sweep the floor, but you do have to clear your washing up, and you have clear your place, sort your cutlery and crockery into piles, and scrape your plates.

This hostel has a TV room and a quiet room with lots of books and magazines, and sofas with enough good light to read by. It's peaceful with deep blue on the wall and sofa covers, brightened by deep red cushions. But don't bring in alcohol. Not allowed.

Tooth fairy on the Isle of Wight

What's the going rate for the tooth fairy?

Granddaughter #1 had a wobbly tooth and it's come out and she's carefully placed it in the window so the tooth fairy can get it

"She shouldn't have too much trouble getting in the window"

suggests GD#1.

No - but I might have a problem.

I rush off to phone her mother worrying of impending disaster due to insufficient briefing on modern day tooth fairies - daughter lost her last tooth nearly ten years ago, and I don't know the current rate!

Apparently it's a pound.

Tooth fairy duly arrives, removes tooth, which had been carefully placed in Zeus's hand - see model that GD#1 had created only the previous day in Portsmouth naval museum.

To the Isle of Wight

Here's husband and grandchild enjoying a trip round HMS Victory.

With two pleasant children, husband and I are youth hostelling in the Isle of Wight. We arrived from Portsmouth on an almost empty ferry. The whole island is so quiet that you'd think it a permanent holiday. A little girl asked her mother if there were no schools on the island because she thought it a permanent holiday island.

On the ferry to the Isle of Wight, with a calm sea green sea, grandson persuades Grandpa into buying fruit drinks from a machine. Grand daughter Joy draws. Grandpa teases grandson, "I hope that ferry isn't going to bump into that container ship over there." Grandson leaping up to look. The ferry goes round the stern.

Grandson and grand daughter wander off to read the posters. "Donning instructions" "Donning", what's that? It's not a usual word is it - to don your life jacket. We're collecting unusual words. "Muster station" you get buses at a bus station and trains at a train station. Do you get musters at a muster station?

Hens' bottoms

I'm sure I can take better photos.

Daughter and I visited an old and trusted gliding friend and wife. They keep hens - hilarious creatures. Feed them and suddenly a loud clucking and another hen rushes out of the hen house to see what she's missing. Heads down, bottoms up. I can't get a good photo of hens with their heads facing.

Daughter now wants me to keep hens.

Just a mum

When I was doing my MBA, I did a thesis with a research element. I had to arrange interviews from home with a toddler and baby around while I phoned. If I had a fellow mum around when a call came through unexpectedly, I'd apologise that I was in a meeting at the moment.

One of my British Computer Society colleagues occasionally has problems when she says she's a mother. She posted this on the BCS women's forum:

A woman, renewing her driver's licence was asked by the woman at Registry to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. 'What I mean is, ' explained the woman at Registry, 'do you have a job or are you just a ...?'

'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman. 'I'm a Mum.'

'We don't list 'Mum' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it,' said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, 'Official Interrogator' or 'City Registrar.'

'What is your occupation?' she probed. What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out:

'I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.'

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest, 'just what you do in your field?'

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, 'I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) in the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out) 'I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) And already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) And I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.'

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern.

I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mum.'

Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door.

Does this make grandmothers 'Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations' And great grandmothers 'Executive Senior Research Associates?' I think so!!!

I also think it makes Aunts 'Associate Research Assistants.'

I'd answer my colleague, but the forum's on yahoo and a pain to read, especially as I frequently forget my password.

Consorting

I'm reading a book on "The Feminine in Management Consulting" by Sheila Marsh. I notice she says she's drawn on material from key figures, with key roles, and on material about and from women and

"those in key roles such as queens consort"

What does that mean "queens consort". Not "consort of queen" because it's not apostrophe 's'. But I like the term, so I think in future rather than refer to "husband", I'll blog him as "the consort".

---

PS
Reading a bit further, I deduce that "queens consort" means those women who were queens and so consorted with their kings.

Jack's jokes

My auntie has been clearing out some of my uncle's papers. He died last year. I blogged it then.

Auntie has sent me some of his jokes. On the paper he's written:

The official ebonics medical terms dictionary

Benign: what you be after you be eight
Bacteria: back door to cafeteria
Barium: what doctors do when patients die (shouldn't that be what grave diggers do?)
Casarean section: a neighbourhood in Rome
Cauterize: made eye contact with her
Colic: a sheep dog (groan)
Coma: a punctuation mark (some of students do think this)
D&C: where Washington is
Dilate: to live long (what my uncle did)
Enema: not a friend
Fester: quicker than someone else
Fibula: a small like
GI series: world series of military baseball (from this line and other spelling I guess Uncle Jack got this from the states)
Hangnail: what you hang your coat on
Impotent: distinguished, well known
Labour pain: getting hurt at work
Medical staff: a doctor's cane
Morbid: a higher offer than I bid
Nitrates: cheaper than day rates
Node: I knew it
Outpatient: a person who has fainted
Pap smear: a fatherhood test
Pelvis: second cousin to elvis
Post operative: a letter carrier
Recovery room: place to do upholstery
Rectum: damn near killed him
Secretion: hiding something
Seizure: Roman emperor
Tablet: a small table (which is logical)
Terminal illness: getting sick at the airport (Uncle J did get sick once, flying to Italy, I think he had a heart attack)
Tumor: more than one
Urine: opposite of mine
Varicose: near by/ close by

I think his brother, Bill, would have laughed at these too.

GoApe

Daughter spent yesterday afternoon at the local GoApe with seven friends. She and I did this a couple of years ago (see old blog posting), and it was just great, exhilarating, one of the best things of that year for me.



She came home very happy, and talked about her friends who'd gone with her, who'd not turned up, who'd been afraid of heights, and who'd made her a birthday cake. Exhausted girl is still in bed this morning.

Easter break

I have a few days to work at home,

• marking TMAs,
  
• catching up with the story I'm trying to write,
  
• enjoying company of retired husband,
  
• children home from university.
  

Perhaps the weather will be nice and I'll enjoy the garden. Perhaps the weather will be nice but I'll sneeze as the hayfever season starts.

Happiness

Carlyle wrote:

What is Hope? A smiling rainbow
Children follow through the wet;

'Tis not here, still yonder, yonder:

Never urchin found it yet.

from this web site. A pessimistic professor quoted it to me when we were thinking about a stressed and grumpy mutual colleague.

We need hope. I keep finding bad things at the moment:

• three people with senile dementia
• someone going blind
• someone getting very forgetful
• a miscarriage
• a grumpy colleague
• a stressed colleague whose research isn't coming together
  

Carlyle cheerfully asks:

What is Life? A thawing iceboard

On a sea with sunny shore; --

Gay we sail; it melts beneath us;

We are sunk, and seen no more.

I'm feeling sunk. Great.

Procrastination

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday and avoiding today" (Wayne Dyer)

The Class

We went to see The Class (Entre les murs) at Oxford. Interesting discussion with husband on way home because he thought that perhaps it didn't represent a real class. Daughter and I assured him that this was normal behaviour in a year nine classroom, unfortunately. Then he expressed dissatisfaction with the 'plot', which is fair enough because there isn't really a plot, just a film of a year in the life of a class of French 14 year olds.

It was worth seeing.