Jack's jokes

My auntie has been clearing out some of my uncle's papers. He died last year. I blogged it then.

Auntie has sent me some of his jokes. On the paper he's written:

The official ebonics medical terms dictionary

Benign: what you be after you be eight
Bacteria: back door to cafeteria
Barium: what doctors do when patients die (shouldn't that be what grave diggers do?)
Casarean section: a neighbourhood in Rome
Cauterize: made eye contact with her
Colic: a sheep dog (groan)
Coma: a punctuation mark (some of students do think this)
D&C: where Washington is
Dilate: to live long (what my uncle did)
Enema: not a friend
Fester: quicker than someone else
Fibula: a small like
GI series: world series of military baseball (from this line and other spelling I guess Uncle Jack got this from the states)
Hangnail: what you hang your coat on
Impotent: distinguished, well known
Labour pain: getting hurt at work
Medical staff: a doctor's cane
Morbid: a higher offer than I bid
Nitrates: cheaper than day rates
Node: I knew it
Outpatient: a person who has fainted
Pap smear: a fatherhood test
Pelvis: second cousin to elvis
Post operative: a letter carrier
Recovery room: place to do upholstery
Rectum: damn near killed him
Secretion: hiding something
Seizure: Roman emperor
Tablet: a small table (which is logical)
Terminal illness: getting sick at the airport (Uncle J did get sick once, flying to Italy, I think he had a heart attack)
Tumor: more than one
Urine: opposite of mine
Varicose: near by/ close by

I think his brother, Bill, would have laughed at these too.