Mum

My happy mother, beautiful mind, fun to be with.

May month

May was a busy month for

• work, which I enjoyed because it included a writing week with research colleagues in a Cotswold village. See some photos on Twitter or Facebook
• meeting old friends from decades ago when honorary degrees were awarded at the Royal Festival Hall 
• visiting aged auntie and getting her old carpet changed for new. No flying carpets, or magic lamps or genies sadly. 
• washing a hen. And losing an old one.
• Just a nice month - sunset near us

New hens

I'm back to five hens now. Two new ones joined us a couple of weeks ago. One is a Rhode Island Red, and the other some sort of Ameraucana, with a fluffy tail and a coronet of feathers. We'll call her Crown or Queenie (to go with Lady Grey).
Lady attacks them both to make sure they knows their place in the pecking order. Here's Ebony. Her feathers are black with a glint of petrol green.
And we're getting eggs again. Good.

Three funerals

Going to three funerals in less than a year is a bit unfortunate. This week the third of the funerals was of a colleague, Sheligh, a couple of years younger than me. She used to tease me about being older than her, yet she's died. She got liver cancer. Why? It's supposed to be rare, yet I know three people who've had liver problems, two died, one had a transplant.
Sheligh used to help us with all the practicalities of research, like finding recording devices, and she kept our grumpy director of studies in order, inquiring sweetly when he was effing and blinding, "problem Geoff?" She asked to go part-time, but they said it was a full time job, so she retired early. They first replaced her with a part-time temp - so much for it being a full time job, and then removed the post. In the meantime, Sheligh who'd thought to fulfill her pleasure in gardening, developed arthritis in her fingers and couldn't enjoy that part of her retirement so much. Then the cancer - they discovered it too late to do anything. She leaves a husband and four children. Sad.

Family influence

Today is my son's birthday. He influenced his family, and one really good influence happened on a car journey. Son sat next to me as I worried about my doctoral viva, and he told me about Toastmasters, the club where you practise speaking in front of people. He asked me to speak for two minutes about my doctoral topic, and I did!  Shortly afterwards, I found our local Toastmasters club and joined. It was such a useful experience that I told his sister, and she joined. Then a year or two later, when his step-sister had to make a speech at a wedding, she joined, and she got her partner to join too. The two of them got so involved that they were on the local committee helping out a lot.
All through the influence of one member of the family.

My hen, Gigi

I had a hen and my hen pleased me and I fed my hen under yonder tree. Pretty hen, Gigi, is no more. She'd been sitting around looking sorry for herself for the last five days, walking, no, waddling, less and less. Tuesday she sat under the Hazel tree, which when I noticed because the other three hens came running out to me but Gigi just stayed nestled in the leaves. Each day got worse. Yesterday morning she struggled to leave the coop, so I took her to the vet.
The vet said she was egg bound. Gigi hasn't been laying eggs for weeks and months, but I wasn't surprised because of it being winter, and she is a bit old at three years. But apparently she'd still been ovulating, the yolks had got stuck at some damaged place in the oviduct, and accumulated in the abdomen, gathering germs. The swollen abdomen made it hard for her to breathe, and eating when you can't breathe is difficult. Her crop was empty and she was very thin. Poor thing looked as unhappy as my 93 year old mother.
I left her at the vet's.

Lime blossom tea - not for the wasps

The council, one of them, town or vale or county, has pollarded the limes in our street.
Perhaps this Autumn we'll have fewer wasp nests because there won't be as many insects enjoying the  sweet lime sap for the wasps to eat.
On the other hand, this year I won't be getting my fresh lime blossom tea from these trees.

Tae kwon do progress

My daughter needed to do a sport for her Duke of Edinburgh Award, and found and chose a local tae kwon do club, to which I had to take her. It wasn't a very salubrious walk however, so I would stay and wait for her. Boring!
Then I realised that Bytomic tae kwon do isn't just for kids; they were taking from six to fifty-six. I was then younger than 56 so I joined in. Years later, I'm still going, have attained first Dan black belt and know a lot more about Korea where this martial art started in 1956, than I ever guessed I would! And am I fit! From a health check I had a month or so ago my metabolic age apparently is younger than my chronological age by about 15 years. That means I'm metabolically younger than I was when I started tae kwon do.
I don't rate my skills highly though, so I need extra practice and training, probably more than the younger members do in order for me to keep up with them. Some ways I do that are to

• go to more than one class a week 
• cross-train with a variety of instructors, 
• attend the black belt sessions every six months
• aim to grade
• participate in tournaments

Now I'm so pants, so slow and clumsy that I have only participated in two or three tournaments. So you can imagine how chuffed I am that at yesterday's tournament I gained a medal for my pants patterns!
I must tell my daughter. And by the way, they've taken away the upper age limit, so if you're near or over 56, please come and join so I'm not the only older woman in the club.

Biphosphonate news

Today the BBC tells us that Osteoporosis drugs may make bones weaker drug.http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-39122541. Their apparent success has been that when bone density is measured, it is denser when on the drugs than off. But that doesn't say what the quality of dense is. The Eiffel Tower would be denser if you put concrete in its spaces, but it wouldn't stay up better. These biphosophonate drugs stop old bone being removed, hence old and new bone cells are present, and more cells equals denser. Now scientists have found a new way to measure bone, and find hairline cracks. Ha! I could have told you biphosophonates can't have been effective because it was such a horrible drug to take  We know biphosophonates are dangerous because they are so acidic that patients must stand or sit up to take it and stay upright for half an hour and take it with water only once a week, or inject it even less often.

In 2010, I broke my hand. Yet, they didn't check me for osteoporosis, despite being over 50.
 I should have got me enough vitamin D, then I wouldn't have broken the bone or got BC. But after the BC and prescribing a BC drug that induces osteoporosis, a DEXA scan showed I had osteoporosis so they gave me biphosphonates. A couple of years later, a DEXA scan showed I had less osteoporosis, and my GP accepted I came off the drug, not realising that I stopped them every few months because of the joint and bone pain that spoilt my tae kwon do activities. But I'd changed my diet and got more vitamin D (sun & supplements).

Imagine taking this drug from 60 till 90... that's when the cracks show - in people who live long enough to show the damage. Several of my aged relatives ought to get vitamin D from sunlight and oils. But how much sunlight does someone in a care home get? Zero. Or if in sheltered accommodation? Then once a week if someone can help to take you out. And what do carers do for elderly vegetarians who don't eat oily fish or liver as a source of vitamin D? Nothing. And the doctors don't advise the carers or warn the elderly people. Sad and wrong.

Coffee with mother

I go up to Yorkshire to see aged Aunty sometimes, passing my mother's care home on the way. If I'm there in the morning I make and share a cup of coffee with her. Mum likes coffee in the morning so I make some fresh for her. She doesn't drink much, and I give her only half a mug but she seems happy to have it. Otherwise she'd wait till the weekend when my brother is back from work and can go in and make her coffee. A mid-week coffee is the nearest I can get to giving her a treat.

24 October 2014 - the day before the wedding

Two years ago, son and daughter-in-law married. Here's the video we put together in a hurry the day before when we realised it was a bit difficult to find the register office https://vimeo.com/109978971. It's a beautiful castle - an amazing place to marry and much more romantic than Aldershot register office where his father and I married nearly four decades earlier. Mind you, the officer at Aldershot was lovely. We were overwhelmed of course and hardly took it in, not helped by my tardy arrival though I kept telling my parents a bride couldn't be late for a wedding at a register office, so I was in tears!

Aldershot 1978

The next weekend, in a more leisurely fashion, new husband and I were strolling round the local supermarket when a woman greeted us, and then as we stared, she said, "what were you doing last Saturday?" and we stared again, realising that she was the officer who had registered our marriage. How nice of her.
Someone took some informal photos that show the officer but I can't find them.  Here's an official photo as we sign, looking more relaxed than we had been feeling half an hour earlier. You can see my mother's cousin and my brother in the background The pendant I'm wearing was a wedding present from my new mother-in-law, who'd been so pleased to find something so pretty and appropriate. I've passed it on to my new DiL.

Visiting the city of Barcelona

Our holiday includes two day trips to Barcelona, the first being last Wednesday and the second tomorrow. On Wednesday, we looked round the old Gothic quarter, going round and round till I was utterly lost. I made an audioboom recording and took a few photos. See Swarm, Instagram and FB. Then husband and I dashed, short of time over to see the Sagrada Familia, Church of the Holy Family,which was fantastic worth a visit.  Gaudi designed it and despite building starting nearly 100 years ago it is not yet complete.

Here's the front door: a dove amongst the flowers

What most impressed me were the towering pillars, splitting at the top into branches, emulating a high forest, and the archways - effigies something between Disney world and Gothic.

East window of Sadrada Familia

The west windows reflected warm colours of sunset (above and here) and the east were cold colours (here).
 But time was short. We learned how the metro works, used it and arrived at the meeting point in time. But the meeting point was place de Catalunya, a huge square , and it took us half an hour to find our group. Too stressful and exciting.

Tomorrow we go back there, after seeing the Hospital  de Pau, to meet my cousin and his partner for lunch. Looking forward to it.

Back to Catalunya

Roman bridge

Years ago I was in Catalunya, La Escala to be precise, on holiday with a French family. Now I'm back again, on holiday with my husband. We're staying in this ancient castle in Cardona and learning about Catalan battles and history, and salt mines. Here's the misty view from our bedroom window one morning.

Salt mine

This enormous salt mine, 1300 metres deep, is here, has been here since the Romans paid salaries in salt.

But in the twentieth century rather than mining for edible salt they mined for potassium chloride for explosives.

And quite an explosive history was round here. In 1711, the Bourbons thought they had the right to the city of Cardona, laid siege, but allies fought against them. The history of the siege and its outcome is here.

Aged aunty's cat

Aged aunty loves animals but where she now lives in sheltered accommodation does not allow pets. Some time ago, passing this carpet shop, I saw this cat in in the window, a sleeping marmalade cat, comfy on the carpet. But it's a model cat, made of cardboard and rabbit fur! I found where to get one and took him up to aunty last time I went. When she was looking the other direction, I placed him on her sofa then stood away.
"How did he get there?" she startled! He is so life like that he gives her a lot of pleasure. She's named him 'Marmalade' and placed in a corner where she won't trip over him, but she can see him sleeping in the sun. Now she tells me on the phone that she has the cat, that he sleeps an awful lot, and that she's introduced him to people who visit, and his name is... "just a moment while I think ... Marmalade!"

Mourning

RIC

I sketched this forty years ago. I am still pleased that I captured his firm jaw, the way his glasses hid his eyes, his unruly hair, and the slight irritation because he did not want me to sketch him.
Twenty years ago, on holiday we woke to a beautiful morning like this at La Motte du Caire. Those are the mountains where later that day, he died.
Yesterday, his brother rang me to tell me their mother has died. His brother is the last of that family - lonely.

Mourning this morning.

La Motte du Caire airfield today

Rio Olympics - tae kwon do

Great Britain is doing well again at the Olympics. Like four and eight years ago, I am following the tae kwon do. Tae kwon do means:

• tae - foot or kick
• kwon - hand or fist
• do - art or skill or way

ITF allows punches to the head and face as well as kicks to the body, though in competitions WTF does not. Hence the comment from ITF (International Taekwondo Federation) people that there is not much kwon from the Olympian athletes who fight WTF style. (World Taekwondo Federation). More info here.

We have Jade Jones from Wales and she's won a gold. Her coach, Paul Green, advises her to use her to kick high and fast and use her opponent's weaknesses. I'm somewhat slow of thought and foot. I can't move as fast as Jade and I can't do the spits so I won't get as high, though I have done head kicks, but how can I use my opponent's weaknesses? What coach can I find who'll show me how to do that?

Exam results

The A level results have come out. I'm delighted for my nephew who has earned the place he wanted at the university he wanted. His mother is justifiably proud.
Ten years ago, I was in the same position, and my son won the place he wanted. He went on to the right university for him, coming out with a good degree, and then went on to get a Masters as well. A week later, on a French airfield, my daughter rang her school from the public pay phone to get her GCSE results. With no speaker phone, she repeated out loud what they told her for her nervous mother standing next to her.  She did herself and her school proud.
Like ten years ago, I've been planning to go to France, but things conspire. Elderly aunt might need some support this week; planes no longer fly to Grenoble; trains take seven hours, and no way am I driving 500 miles.  How did I do it in 1997 with two small children in the car? Even taking several days with a stop in Paris at friends and at a campsite on the way down, on my own, a single parent, - how did I do it? But I would now like to go away for a holiday in the sun.
At tae kwon do, I (discretely) asked a mother what her son's results were. His mother looked grumpy, muttered quietly what his results were but pointed out that anyhow he didn't need them to get where he wanted to go. Neither did I when I did my A-levels - I already had my place at training college so I had no motivation to do really well at my A-levels so I think he's done fine. I was on the point of telling his mother this and congratulating her to have got him through his first 18 years and he could start his adult life, when she grumbled about all these people on Facebook announcing their offspring's wonderful results.  It's funny because she's being putting on Facebook what a wonderful holiday her family was having in several different countries - it sounds wonderful and I'd love to do that too.  Was she boasting about her holiday, but grumbling when others boast about their children's successes?  No.  She was just sharing her pleasure.

God daughter's christening

One of my god daughters was christened years ago, in my years BC (before children), and I was honoured then that her parents chose me.  Here, with one of her god fathers, Iain, we are after the christening.

I felt even more honoured this last weekend that my now adult god daughter invited me to her wedding in St Paul's Cathedral.
I have an album of photos of her when a toddler, starting with her birth announcement, including one of her in what I assume is a nursery school photo, and one of her playing the piano - she started  early. As she grew up, I saw her less often, but see her mother every few months, a particularly good, loyal and strong friend to me.

God daughter and her now-husband dated for over 4000 days, including a year long round the world trip before at last marrying. They are obviously very good friends. It augurs well for their future.

Father's day

Yesterday was Father's day, the first year I've had no father.  I am not complaining though because some, like my children, lost their father before they hit double figures. I knew mine for decades.
He taught me to swim, taking me to Southport baths when I was tiny.

Father-of-the-bride

He advised me in my teens, "if you can't be good, be careful". He joked, with reference to our gliding, in his father-of-bride speech , "may all your thermals be little ones".
He proudly held up my gown hood when I achieved my OU degree in my thirties.
He enjoyed playing with our children in the following decades, taking them swimming at Richmond baths.

Achieved my first degree

As my mother's sight faded, my dad came into my life more and more, still supporting my life, as he helped our mother. His relationship with and attitude to Mum was the model I wanted for the men I chose as my husbands, my children's father and their step father. I'm lucky I had a good father, a father I knew, a father who loved me. I'm lucky I had him so long.
I wish my children could have had the same experiences.

PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL

PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL is how you get letters addressed to you from an NHS healthcare provider. The NHS provided me with healthcare in 2011 when I blogged my breast cancer in I like it in the glory hole. I had cutting (an operation), burning (radiotherapy) and just in case therapy (adjuvant aromatase inhibitor - drugs to stop oestrogen, just in case any oestrogen-positive cancer cells remain). About a year ago, I made "a uni-lateral decision" (quotes because that is what my NHS GP wrote to the consultant) to come off the aromatase inhibitors, becoming one of the 36% who stop taking the drug by four years. Last week, five years after the BC, I had a write-you-off (discharge) letter,

"Thank you for attending for your recent mammogram. I am pleased to inform you that your mamograms (breast x-rays) show no sign of breast cancer."

So that's it then.  No more annual mammograms. Well that might be it.  I do have calcifications and apparently calcifications can lead to BC.  We'll see. In the meantime, I shall continue confidently trusting a private GP.