24 October 2014 - the day before the wedding

Two years ago, son and daughter-in-law married. Here's the video we put together in a hurry the day before when we realised it was a bit difficult to find the register office https://vimeo.com/109978971. It's a beautiful castle - an amazing place to marry and much more romantic than Aldershot register office where his father and I married nearly four decades earlier. Mind you, the officer at Aldershot was lovely. We were overwhelmed of course and hardly took it in, not helped by my tardy arrival though I kept telling my parents a bride couldn't be late for a wedding at a register office, so I was in tears!

Aldershot 1978

The next weekend, in a more leisurely fashion, new husband and I were strolling round the local supermarket when a woman greeted us, and then as we stared, she said, "what were you doing last Saturday?" and we stared again, realising that she was the officer who had registered our marriage. How nice of her.
Someone took some informal photos that show the officer but I can't find them.  Here's an official photo as we sign, looking more relaxed than we had been feeling half an hour earlier. You can see my mother's cousin and my brother in the background The pendant I'm wearing was a wedding present from my new mother-in-law, who'd been so pleased to find something so pretty and appropriate. I've passed it on to my new DiL.

Visiting the city of Barcelona

Our holiday includes two day trips to Barcelona, the first being last Wednesday and the second tomorrow. On Wednesday, we looked round the old Gothic quarter, going round and round till I was utterly lost. I made an audioboom recording and took a few photos. See Swarm, Instagram and FB. Then husband and I dashed, short of time over to see the Sagrada Familia, Church of the Holy Family,which was fantastic worth a visit.  Gaudi designed it and despite building starting nearly 100 years ago it is not yet complete.

Here's the front door: a dove amongst the flowers

What most impressed me were the towering pillars, splitting at the top into branches, emulating a high forest, and the archways - effigies something between Disney world and Gothic.

East window of Sadrada Familia

The west windows reflected warm colours of sunset (above and here) and the east were cold colours (here).
 But time was short. We learned how the metro works, used it and arrived at the meeting point in time. But the meeting point was place de Catalunya, a huge square , and it took us half an hour to find our group. Too stressful and exciting.

Tomorrow we go back there, after seeing the Hospital  de Pau, to meet my cousin and his partner for lunch. Looking forward to it.

Back to Catalunya

Roman bridge

Years ago I was in Catalunya, La Escala to be precise, on holiday with a French family. Now I'm back again, on holiday with my husband. We're staying in this ancient castle in Cardona and learning about Catalan battles and history, and salt mines. Here's the misty view from our bedroom window one morning.

Salt mine

This enormous salt mine, 1300 metres deep, is here, has been here since the Romans paid salaries in salt.

But in the twentieth century rather than mining for edible salt they mined for potassium chloride for explosives.

And quite an explosive history was round here. In 1711, the Bourbons thought they had the right to the city of Cardona, laid siege, but allies fought against them. The history of the siege and its outcome is here.

Aged aunty's cat

Aged aunty loves animals but where she now lives in sheltered accommodation does not allow pets. Some time ago, passing this carpet shop, I saw this cat in in the window, a sleeping marmalade cat, comfy on the carpet. But it's a model cat, made of cardboard and rabbit fur! I found where to get one and took him up to aunty last time I went. When she was looking the other direction, I placed him on her sofa then stood away.
"How did he get there?" she startled! He is so life like that he gives her a lot of pleasure. She's named him 'Marmalade' and placed in a corner where she won't trip over him, but she can see him sleeping in the sun. Now she tells me on the phone that she has the cat, that he sleeps an awful lot, and that she's introduced him to people who visit, and his name is... "just a moment while I think ... Marmalade!"

Mourning

RIC

I sketched this forty years ago. I am still pleased that I captured his firm jaw, the way his glasses hid his eyes, his unruly hair, and the slight irritation because he did not want me to sketch him.
Twenty years ago, on holiday we woke to a beautiful morning like this at La Motte du Caire. Those are the mountains where later that day, he died.
Yesterday, his brother rang me to tell me their mother has died. His brother is the last of that family - lonely.

Mourning this morning.

La Motte du Caire airfield today

Rio Olympics - tae kwon do

Great Britain is doing well again at the Olympics. Like four and eight years ago, I am following the tae kwon do. Tae kwon do means:

• tae - foot or kick
• kwon - hand or fist
• do - art or skill or way

ITF allows punches to the head and face as well as kicks to the body, though in competitions WTF does not. Hence the comment from ITF (International Taekwondo Federation) people that there is not much kwon from the Olympian athletes who fight WTF style. (World Taekwondo Federation). More info here.

We have Jade Jones from Wales and she's won a gold. Her coach, Paul Green, advises her to use her to kick high and fast and use her opponent's weaknesses. I'm somewhat slow of thought and foot. I can't move as fast as Jade and I can't do the spits so I won't get as high, though I have done head kicks, but how can I use my opponent's weaknesses? What coach can I find who'll show me how to do that?

Exam results

The A level results have come out. I'm delighted for my nephew who has earned the place he wanted at the university he wanted. His mother is justifiably proud.
Ten years ago, I was in the same position, and my son won the place he wanted. He went on to the right university for him, coming out with a good degree, and then went on to get a Masters as well. A week later, on a French airfield, my daughter rang her school from the public pay phone to get her GCSE results. With no speaker phone, she repeated out loud what they told her for her nervous mother standing next to her.  She did herself and her school proud.
Like ten years ago, I've been planning to go to France, but things conspire. Elderly aunt might need some support this week; planes no longer fly to Grenoble; trains take seven hours, and no way am I driving 500 miles.  How did I do it in 1997 with two small children in the car? Even taking several days with a stop in Paris at friends and at a campsite on the way down, on my own, a single parent, - how did I do it? But I would now like to go away for a holiday in the sun.
At tae kwon do, I (discretely) asked a mother what her son's results were. His mother looked grumpy, muttered quietly what his results were but pointed out that anyhow he didn't need them to get where he wanted to go. Neither did I when I did my A-levels - I already had my place at training college so I had no motivation to do really well at my A-levels so I think he's done fine. I was on the point of telling his mother this and congratulating her to have got him through his first 18 years and he could start his adult life, when she grumbled about all these people on Facebook announcing their offspring's wonderful results.  It's funny because she's being putting on Facebook what a wonderful holiday her family was having in several different countries - it sounds wonderful and I'd love to do that too.  Was she boasting about her holiday, but grumbling when others boast about their children's successes?  No.  She was just sharing her pleasure.

God daughter's christening

One of my god daughters was christened years ago, in my years BC (before children), and I was honoured then that her parents chose me.  Here, with one of her god fathers, Iain, we are after the christening.

I felt even more honoured this last weekend that my now adult god daughter invited me to her wedding in St Paul's Cathedral.
I have an album of photos of her when a toddler, starting with her birth announcement, including one of her in what I assume is a nursery school photo, and one of her playing the piano - she started  early. As she grew up, I saw her less often, but see her mother every few months, a particularly good, loyal and strong friend to me.

God daughter and her now-husband dated for over 4000 days, including a year long round the world trip before at last marrying. They are obviously very good friends. It augurs well for their future.

Father's day

Yesterday was Father's day, the first year I've had no father.  I am not complaining though because some, like my children, lost their father before they hit double figures. I knew mine for decades.
He taught me to swim, taking me to Southport baths when I was tiny.

Father-of-the-bride

He advised me in my teens, "if you can't be good, be careful". He joked, with reference to our gliding, in his father-of-bride speech , "may all your thermals be little ones".
He proudly held up my gown hood when I achieved my OU degree in my thirties.
He enjoyed playing with our children in the following decades, taking them swimming at Richmond baths.

Achieved my first degree

As my mother's sight faded, my dad came into my life more and more, still supporting my life, as he helped our mother. His relationship with and attitude to Mum was the model I wanted for the men I chose as my husbands, my children's father and their step father. I'm lucky I had a good father, a father I knew, a father who loved me. I'm lucky I had him so long.
I wish my children could have had the same experiences.

PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL

PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL is how you get letters addressed to you from an NHS healthcare provider. The NHS provided me with healthcare in 2011 when I blogged my breast cancer in I like it in the glory hole. I had cutting (an operation), burning (radiotherapy) and just in case therapy (adjuvant aromatase inhibitor - drugs to stop oestrogen, just in case any oestrogen-positive cancer cells remain). About a year ago, I made "a uni-lateral decision" (quotes because that is what my NHS GP wrote to the consultant) to come off the aromatase inhibitors, becoming one of the 36% who stop taking the drug by four years. Last week, five years after the BC, I had a write-you-off (discharge) letter,

"Thank you for attending for your recent mammogram. I am pleased to inform you that your mamograms (breast x-rays) show no sign of breast cancer."

So that's it then.  No more annual mammograms. Well that might be it.  I do have calcifications and apparently calcifications can lead to BC.  We'll see. In the meantime, I shall continue confidently trusting a private GP.

Living together problems

Working from home today, at eight o'clock I sorted the laundry basket and put a dark wash on, while husband prepared to go out to his keep fit class. At half-past eight, he appeared interestingly half dressed.

"I can't find my gym shorts." 

I don't know where he last had them, but I've just put a wash on, a dark wash, of any material dark that I found in the laundry basket, so I can guess where his dark blue gym shorts are now. Apparently he put them in the laundry basket a week ago. Does this make me a housewife failure or did I just too enthusiastically wash all the other things? I still have all the sheets and towels from last week's lodgers to wash too. Oh dear.
But such is life when living with anyone, and I've lived with someone for over forty years.  Whether they be flatmates or partners, children or spouses, if you're going to live with others, then you just have to get used to it, their problems and your mistakes, their mistakes and your problems. I'd rather live with someone than on my own.

Only connect

Have you read 'Five ways to wellbeing'? The first suggested action for wellbeing is to connect.  Connect with family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. I am lucky with my friends.  I still connect and am in touch with friends from

• school (See friends)
• tae kwon do (See http://ejh2.blogspot.co.uk/2011/03/competitions-and-competing.html ) 
• gliding years ago (See gliding weekends, gliding club,  and gliding again),  
• friends abroad (See Norwegian gliding friend)
• studying for my OU qualifications and from work
• teacher training college
• comparatively new friends in this town where I've lived since remarrying
• neighbours
• lost friends that I refound through social media



AB

• friends of my late husband (FoLH), loyal and supportive to me in raising our children. 

FoLH

An old friend, my ex-doctor friend (ExDrF) connected last week, staying here overnight on her way to somewhere else, between places. Like me, my ExDrF has retired from her first career and is enthusiastically making her way in a new one and its work brought her near enough to visit. I hadn't see ExDrF for 15-16 years because I'd moved and she'd moved, yet we'd stayed in touch.  What a pleasure it was to talk with her! We remembered each other's children - she remembers mine so well it's a compliment; exchanged news on what they're doing - one of hers is doing a doctorate as is one of mine; one of hers is about to get married and one of mine has married.  We remembered the nursery school they went to, which friend had influenced which of us to choose that nursery and subsequent schooling decisions. We have mutual friends (like AB) who have similarly changed tack as children departed. I missed these friends when my children reached sixth form and university age because I wanted to share with them the end of that era, the completion of a job: bringing our children up ready to  make their own way in the world.
My friends support and enrich my life. I hope I do theirs. We'll have mutual wellbeing.

Mothering or grandmothering Sunday

Mothering my daughter years ago, I escorted her to tae kwon do, then joined myself.  When I got to be a black belt, my oldest granddaughter thought it so cool that a grandmother could have black belt in a martial art, that she too started learning tae kwon do.  She's learning fast.
She comes round on Thursdays after school and we chat. She's been doing theory of knowledge for her IB and tells me about various place value systems, such as ancient Sumerians used. I remind her that I have a video of her counting in binary when she was her little sister's age (seven) at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAQaRwW72jI.
Her littler cousin (six years old) is impressing me by programming her Logo turtle to draw, not just a simple square or circle but a heart. That's as good as or better than my OU students do.
I used to want to boast about my children. Now I can boast about my grandchildren's achievements.

Reflections on blogging

Looking back over this blog, In the first year I posted ten entries, of which five mentioned our daughters.  Of the eight posts of 2005, half were about our children. In 2006, I more than doubled my writing (29 posts) and well over half were about our teenagers. Gradually I started writing about our grandchildren.
In 2006, I started full time study for a research degree. Starting research, was a new venture to distract me from gloom as I anticipated my role as mother reducing when the children left home. Yet during my MRes and PhD years of study, I posted 75, 144, 207 and 89 times, nearly always about the family, children and grandchildren, and then occasionally our older generation as they grew ill and died.
I wonder why I stopped posting. Perhaps I stopped  because I'd finished study, perhaps because I had new contracts to keep me busy, or perhaps the adjuvant therapy for my breast cancer slowed down my thought processes.

Christmas 2015

23rd visited family in Oxford
24th visited family in Buckinghamshire
25th entertained family at home
26th visited family in Hertfordshire
27th entertained family who were banned from visiting most people because of chicken-poxy three year old - poor mite.  He called it Christmas pox.  Got a sense of humour that lad.

Didn't have to travel as far as last year, so it was enjoyable, without the stress of driving.

Roll on 2016, and we're looking forward to the panto this weekend.  Oh yes we are!  Happy New Year

Three degrees removed

Last year MiL moved out of her home and passed on an heirloom to us - a square piano.  This piano had been her mother's before her, and it has been in the Green Room at Drury Lane, before being taken up to Sheffield and played in the theatre there during the war.  After her mother died, it stayed with her father and then with her stepmother, who had it for decades.  Her stepmother wasn't a pianist, and didn't really appreciate this piece of furniture, at one time apparently she considered pulling out its insides and turning it into a drinks cabinet! When her stepmother moved out of her home to a care home, MiL had the square piano again.  Being the worse for wear, she had it restored, lovingly and carefully restored by Douglas Hollick.

But transporting it to our house meant it needed retuning.  Our musician neighbours put us in contact with the Royal Academy of Music where we found someone who now enthusiastically tunes our piano.  He's going to contact Douglas Hollick to talk about the piano and whether to tune it up.  At the moment he's tuned it to 392 herz because otherwise it is going out of tune too quickly.  When he came this year to tune it, we discovered that he knows my late husband's best friend from school - my husband's friend's friend makes us three degrees apart I guess.

Birthday greetings, bottle of wine

Birthday greetings, bottle of wine - last night a housemate from many years ago, visited with a bottle of wine. He calculated my age and today remembered my birthday, sending me an email with birthday greetings. How nice is that!

Rehearsal of "Guys and Dolls

Just seen the dress rehearsal of "Guys and Dolls". It's witty, romantic, with wonderful singing & acrobatic dancing that's superbe in the sewer scene. They've been rehearsing it at Aylesbury and are about to start performing for the public at Manchester. See  http://www.guysanddollsthemusical.co.uk/. One of the cast staying with us offered tickets for the dress rehearsal and we're so glad we saw it.
I asked husband, "what do you think of the scenery?" "Some of it's very nice" he unhesitatingly replied with that look in his eye that meant he wasn't thinking only of the backdrop. Watch the women dancing, and the men are pretty good to watch too.
Go and enjoy if you get the chance.

Yellow month

Apart from the day the glaziers took the roof off the conservatory, it hasn't rained much this month and the leaves are yellow and gently falling.  In this photo, 38 years ago, the weather was similar. The rain held off and the leaves gently fell.  It was a good day and the start of a good life.
The men of this somewhat yellow photo have fallen now.

Corfu visit: sun, sea, smells and sounds

We went to visit an old Norwegian friend who has a holiday house in Corfu, leaving just as the first English autumn morning dawned clear and crisp. In Corfu, there were so many flowers still blooming and the air was warm and the sea warmer - I summarised the week in two minutes at https://vimeo.com/141837801
Then we came back to the English autumn. Here, I see no flowers, but fruits everywhere and the bottom of the garden under the apple and pear trees smells of perry and cider. The leaves, though not yet fallen, are shades of red, russet, orange and yellow. I need three times as many layers of clothes as I needed last week in Corfu and next week I  might even use gloves in the morning.

New start

Today, my 91-year old mother, newly widowed, moves to a new care home in a new town.  She's blind and her hearing is going.  Is she brave!

Helsinki

Four tranquil days by the sea, even on the sea too, sailing round the islands, like Isosaari we spent this week.  'Iso' is the Finnish for 'big and once I lived on Big Robert's Street - Isorobertinkatu.  'Katu', the Finnish equivalent of the Swedish word 'Gatu', means gate or street.
Daughter and I wandered the streets of Helsinki
and the market

Red cathedral, Helsinki

and the cathedrals, red and white.
We had a lovely evening meal with a Sibelius concert - we should have stayed there longer.

Finland is full of trees, pine trees and delicate silver birch trees. And water seems to make up half its land in lakes, not rivers.  In the fields of Suomenalinnea (an island off Helsinki where the Russians built a Finnish fortress - the Gibraltar of the North), we saw no cows or sheep or signs of rabbits, though I noticed that several Helsinki women walked poodles or dogs that looked a bit like poodles.  The streets were clean and clear, and pavements were wide for pedestrians and separate tracks for cyclists.


We ate reindeer meat, and berries - lingonberries and something like blue berries that were very palatable.
The ligon berries were however so tart that your cheeks watered.  I found a use for them by mixing them in with the butter-fired mushrooms I cooked in the evenings at the YHA hostel.
In the hostel, we met the usual friendly sort of foreigners.  An Indian couple from Ahmedabad advised me to visit again, and a very English gentleman with bottle-bottom thick spectacles introduced himself with "how do you do?"  After the usual pleasantries about where we came from he started a long story about how he came to lose his driving licence, a story that entailed him drawing my attention to the braces that held up his yellow knee length dungarees that he'd made for himself so he could attach his wooden leg more easily. Eccentric?

Eurokangas fabric store

Helsinki train station

Daughter found the most magnificently well stocked fabric shop and had a whale of a time examining various cloths to turn into coats, capes and costumes.

Damp Devon

Each year for some seven or eight years, husband and I have taken two or three grandchildren youth hostelling.  This year we aimed to do it again, but this time two parents came with us, and my daughter. This year the company made up for the rainy weather.
We visited SS Great Britain in Bristol on the way down there, the most fascinating old ship I've been on.  I've been on older ships (in Stockholm and in Portsmouth) but this one related to relatives that I could imagine in the 19th century who might have travelled to Australia on such a ship. Its engineering is amazing.  How did they work out the maths to create those structures?  They must have applied calculus and had the machinery to create the propellor and the bows.
On the Monday,  thought we'd hide from the rain by investigating the hidden underground passages of Exeter.  Unfortunately too many others had had the same idea and it was fully booked.  So we paddled around,saw the outside of the cathedral, picked some blackberries at the park and ride car park and went to see my revered first mother-in-law.
Later in the week some of us walked up Dunkery Beacon, and we visited Dunster Mill and went round  Dunster Castle, which was probably the most exciting event of the break - husband left his brolly there.  Yes we needed umbrellas all week.

Wedding hats

One of our daughters is marrying and we're told we have to wear hats.   Here are some hats that daughter and I have made.

Last week, granddaughter #1 turned up at tae kwon do in her new silver hat!  And here are inspirations:
https://uk.pinterest.com/rowleypolybird/hatspiration/
I think I'll photo hats at the wedding.

Fine art - first class print making

My sister's been awarded a first class honours in her fine arts degree after eight years balancing part time study with part time work.  Her final exhibition was a couple of months ago - introduced here https://audioboom.com/boos/3275106-ba-fine-arts-final-exhibition-2015.

My sister specialised in print-making Exploring through print-making.   Some of her papier mache look like death masks, and that's on purpose because she was exploring the theme of mortality.  Mortality interested her because of a number of deaths in our family over the last few years while she was studying. Hear her describe her work on this theme at https://audioboom.com/boos/3276557-fine-art-mortality-with-cath-hartnett.


The last photo is of a papier mache of our mother's hand, frail with age. Even through the paper, you can  see the wedding ring on her fourth finger.

Up, not about

My father is out of hospital after several weeks.  He and my mother are together to celebrate their 65 wedding anniversary.    But their spirits are not up.  Mum is happier now that Dad is with her, but he's bed bound, not only can't get up and out of bed but can hardly turn himself in the bed.  His only comfort is listening to audio books.  Mum was eating with other people in the care home till he came out, and now her only company is him.
As aged Aunty E keeps saying "it's old age and dry rot!" And Mum and Dad feel rotten.
Nevertheless, their loyal younger friends in the parish gathered today for their anniversary mass, signed a card for them, iced a cake and sent sweet smelling jasmine.  Mum and Dad must have done something special to have so many people care.

First Holy Communion

Allelulia, sing to Jesus

We sang as the last hymn of the First Communion mass today.  Most of the time, most of us did not sing because the choir sang, and because we didn't know the words of the hymns.  But this hymn, "Allelulia, sing to Jesus", is a hymn that a couple of my singing relatives know, and did they sing out with grins on their faces at the words

"thunder like a mighty flood"

They loved it. Mind you, I love their singing.

It was a lovely ceremony, with just ten children taking their First Communion at a Blackfriars family mass in Oxford.  The children concentrated on the mass, not sitting with their families but at the front, like guests of honour.  After the mass, they were presented not only with certificates, but also with a set of rosary beads each, and advised to bring them the next two visits because one of the Dominicans was going to do something with them.  I love that idea, not just giving a relevant gift, but helping the children to see it as more than just a pretty trinket, but as something to help them develop further spiritually.

What a lucky little relative we have who belongs to such a church community.

Lovely Lola lost

This young, elegant little cat, an adventurous beastie, has been living next door to us for nearly a year, getting bolder and bolder, tripping across our patio every day to leap over the next wall, into the court and out to the street.  She caught a pigeon on our lawn earlier in the spring, taking it down to the bottom of garden to eat it.  Twice I've found her in my hens' run, causing a lot of clucking, fortunately hens 1:Lola 0. Initially she teased our old cat Cheeky by pouncing on her sleeping, but gradually they reached a truce so Lola would pass without the pair of them spatting and she would eat Cheeky's food only when Cheeky had had enough.  Yesterday evening, Lola was surprised by big black Torres passing and they had a cat fight, which she lost, being trapped between two large plant pots. This morning I watched Lola chasing the flies on the lawn in the sunshine, and later sitting lady-like on the patio, perhaps smelling where she and Torres had been.
This afternoon she was knocked down in the street, and then run over by two or three more cars.  I've seen a squirrel killed in the same spot. I wish the council would put a speed bump just at that angle in the street where it bends slightly and if you go too fast you can't see quickly enough if there's an obstacle.  One day it'll be a child runs down the steps and under a car.

Holiday topics

Toastmaster topics master this week asked us to speak about holidays, e.g.

• "What is the best holiday you have ever had?"  
• "Do you prefer to holiday on the beach, or have a more active holiday like cycling?  Explain"
• "Would you holiday in the UK or go overseas?    Why"

One of us had to speak to, "Have you ever had a disaster on holiday", which should elicit a humorous litany of woes, but had she asked me to speak, it would have upset the room. The most disastrous holiday I ever had ended at a quarter to one on 23 August 1996. When the disaster happened, the holiday ended. Another of the topic questions was, "would you take out holiday insurance?" That August we had insurance as usual, but only for the usual four out of the five of our party, and I had to pay out a couple of hundred pounds to get one of us home!  Do I need to assure you that now I always have insurance?

The last topic was open to the room, "has anyone gone abroad on Xmas day?".  Yes - and that was probably one of my most memorable holiday, if only because it was the first one I had away from my parents and family when I was 22.  Booked in summer, whilst suffering from a party-induced hangover, my housemate and I flew to an Austrian skiing resort, Mayerhofen.  Housemate got all the gear, onesie ski-suit, gloves, hat, and I, not knowing if I'd like it, wore my English weather water-proofs.  Housemate put on her skis for the first time in our first class, faced up the hill, stood up, and slid backwards, thus promptly falling over.  She went back to the hotel where she spent the rest of the week, kindly donating me her fantastic onesie, a  garment I wore there and then, and for many years after both skiing and later on winter gliding fields.  I discovered I loved skiing and had some aptitude for it. I spent Christmas lunch alone on the top of a mountain, outside an Austrian ski restaurant, eating my sandwich and enjoying the cold crisp wonderful Alpine air - a good Christmas holiday.

Family favourites talking

It is so nice to have grown up children who can talk to you adult-to-adult.  Over supper, husband, daughter and I were discussing showers, the difference between showers and baths, and the hygiene of showers.  This involved explaining fluid dynamics with reference to Bernoulli.  Have you heard of his work? He studied and explained how differences on pressure affected water and air flow and his theories are relevant to gliding, and to shower curtain hygiene. This principle explains why gliders fly, and why shower curtains gather germs, and it's fluid mechanics  that you would study at honours level in mathematics or physics.  Daughter did not wince a moment when husband explained the theory and he gave me a thumbs up when I asked, "when you have a shower, what does the shower curtain do?   Does it move in or out? That's the effect that Bernoulli models"
Similarly, decades ago, at meal time, I mentioned something about educational theory - Piaget's ideas of how a child saw and compared volumes when asked. My teacher mother exclaimed in delight that now there was someone in the family who knew what she was talking about. Isn't a pleasure to be able to discuss ideas with your grown-up family?

Life's not good

Life isn't too promising at the moment.
So sad and upset.
Saw parents and aunty just before Christmas, though I had been thinking of going up perhaps with husband this weekend, but son said he was going, and then my sister.  Trouble is now my sister can't go because her car wheels got broke in a ditch.
Mum, who used to read this blog, now can't see and not being able to see can't remember what she can't see, like the cup of coffee we've just put in front of her, and told her it's there.  But she has to see to know it, so she forgets we told her it is there.  To add to her misery, she's losing her hearing, so mis-hears and then can't make sense of what she thinks she heard, like "I've got a table in this document", she misheard as "I've got a cable in this document".
Aged Auntie has a different form of forgetfulness, and a stoic attitude that her local priest described as "Here day, go day, soon come Sunday" attitude  her.  Not only is she cheerful and accepting of life's restrictions, though she would like to stop falling, forgetting where she is and go out without having to have company to stop her falling and getting lost, but she is eating well, smiling, remembering better than she was and is philosophically accepting of life's trials.  She's our father's sister, and I can see the stoicism in them both, the stoicism that he is drawing on in his need to support our ailing mother.

At least son and new wife will be going for a few hours.  Mum doesn't welcome people for too long because she can't play the host any more, see the food in the freezer or what the dial on the microwave says.  She can't see other peoples' problems, like catching wheelchair wheels in a grubby rug, or an iron that is too clogged to steam any more. And she can't see what work her cleaner of 17 years does, an enthusiastic, honest and loyal worker.  Listen to her saying happy Christmas: https://audioboom.com/boos/2754739-carol

She's the salt of the earth, and like salt, a little cheer goes a long way.

Christmas lunch out

We went out for Christmas lunch, just husband, self and daughter, the fewest I've been with since ever.  Husband arranged it only last week, at the last minute, after I'd suggested we go and stay in hotel like his brother and family has done for years, perhaps join brother but his brother has been travelling to foreign places this year, like Venice, so perhaps didn't fancy another hotel for Christmas.  Then husband found this lovely local place, run by people who run our nearest wine bar, great food, even if you do silly diets - it's still great food, run by great hosts who deal with you in a friendly and tolerant fashion even if you can't make your mind up and there's a queue behind you.  If I did food photos, I'd show you, but here instead is the menu.

Wedding news

The hotel fire alarm went off at half past midnight on Sunday morning, just after most people had left the wedding party and gone to bed.  Left standing were the bride and groom, the bride's family, and many of the younger groovier lot, who I'd left jiving on the dance floor, taking selfies and drinking the remains of the champagne (cava) from the magnum bottles. So who would you expect to have let the fire alarm off?
The wedding took place in lovely surrounds in the Gilstrap Registration Office at Lincoln, next to the ruins of the castle. The groom was white with nerves before the ceremony, but you can see from this photo that now the vows have been made, the registrar's mispronunciation of his surname corrected, and the deed done, he's smiling proudly. His bride, who avows she does not want to be the centre of attention, quietly took the visual attention for the day, looking beautiful, - see her happy smile - but saying little.
The best man did my son proud, racing round the country to fetch the last-minute arrived bridesmaids' dresses, which all fitted each bridesmaid perfectly.  The best man also ran around getting people to sign a memory book against the polaroid pictures that a pair of friends had been taking of everyone.  And he made a great speech starting from how he first noticed my son at school in maths class, when one poked the other.  He described how he'd introduced the couple, and in explaining the couple's gradual revelation to their friends of their relationship, apologised to me that I was the last to know, for which he proposed a toast to me!  Well that's a first - a somewhat untraditional toast, but this best man has endeared himself to me for some time. He was the one a few years ago who helped my son to buy a new car.
At the reception, I met the bride's family at last.  I'd met her maternal grandparents, and her little brother, but now I had the pleasure of meeting her other, rather older grandparents, and her lively younger sisters. Her grandparents had stalwartly remained in the dancing room despite the deafening music, whilst my siblings and I had removed ourselves to a place where we could talk and tease each other.  Every now and again, I'd go back in for a dance. At midnight, most of us retired, including the bride's grandfather and grandmother.  They decided to have a shower before bed, but the shower would not turn off.  They had to call the hotel staff, who also could not turn it off. The water got hotter and hotter, until eventually the steam set the fire alarm off and woke most of those who had just gone to bed (not my sleepy husband who admitted that he'd only thought he'd heard it).  Fortunately, it went off again almost immediately and we did not have to leave our rooms, except the bride's grandparents. They had to change bedrooms because the hotel staff could not sort it out.  It was not the bride or the groom or the best man who set the fire alarm off. Nor her lively sisters.  It was the oldest guest - her grandfather!

Story - what I did at the weekend

Once upon a time, two or three decades ago, a poorly fertile woman, after ten years of marriage, in her mid thirties at last became an elderly mother.  She and her husband were overjoyed at the arrival of their healthy, blue eyed blond baby boy who immediately opened his eyes and gazed intelligently at his delighted Daddy.

His father and I, for I was that mother, gave him a loving home, nurtured and nourished him, planned his education, and our son went to a good school, then a good university, and found himself a good job.  What does a young man do then?

He found himself a good girlfriend, a gorgeous girl, a princess to dream of, someone who thinks my son is one of the best guys in the world.

So what was I doing last weekend?  I was welcoming his girlfriend to our house for the last weekend as his fiancée because next weekend he marries her.  Last weekend, she and I went to the dressmakers to alter the wedding dress, to make it fit perfectly for the wedding.
And as all good stories go,....
May they live happily ever after.

Gone to roost

And a vine lot of trouble

It's interesting how many poultry derived idioms we have in the language, isn't it?  And now so few of us have hens, we've forgotten or don't realise where they came from:

• gone to roost,
• pecking order
• flown the coop
• hens' teeth (they don't have any)

We went out yesterday to old gliding and Oxford friends' 40th wedding anniversary.

 "You need tolerance, perseverance and wisdom"

 to keep a marriage that long said a friend who raised a toast. May my son and his fiancée, marrying on Oct 25th at Newark, have those gifts too.

When we came home, it was past dusk and the hens had flown the coop and gone to roost. I had had to hunt the garden in the dark, till I found two of the three in the vine. "Vine lot of trouble" remarked my husband! The third hen, Lady Grey, didn't turn up till this morning, and now all three are happily eating left over rice curry from a few days ago. Cluck, cluck, clllcckk! Happy hens.

Countries reunited

Over a hundred years ago, an English ship's engineer knocked on the door of a Glasgow house, where its owner, a Miss Maggie Bowman took paying guests, and for the last ten years had provided a home for her cousin's granddaughter.  That wee Scottish lass married that young English engineer, becoming my grandparents.  If we'd not been united countries, would they ever have met?   Would I be? 

I'm so glad we're staying united because we've done so much together, economically, in sport, in academia, and socially.   Why oh why have our English politicians been acting like this was an abusive relationship promising to stop beating up the minor partner and to behave better? This was an opportunity to renew the courtship.

Here's the Donald tartan tam o'shanter my lovely Scottish born neighbour gave me years ago.

23 rd August

I remember

Youth hostelling again

Youth hostelling provides such social fun: the grand children, the other guests, the people running the youth hostel, and the kitten that the people running the youth hostel have.  This year, we went to Cornwall, to Boswinger, hiring a family room as usual, but for a day longer than usual because it takes so long to get there.
Getting there, we went via Devon, and popped in to eat our picnic lunch at my MiL's, where the children enjoyed playing her square piano, the one that used to be in the Green Room at the Old Vic, and sounds great when you play Bach on it.
Then we had three days to explore:

• the Lost Gardens of Heligan
• the beach at Porthcurnick, where the grandchildren built such a splendid sandcastle that the tide took six minutes to wreck it.
• a day at the Eden Project

Hatching hens

Ever seen a cat and a hen together?  Do they get on?  We're kitten sitting, minding son and fiancée's (yes, they're engaged  and marrying in October) two cats, one of whom, Diana, has had a litter of four only a couple of weeks ago and we're minding them for the bank holiday weekend.

I've been brooding on the idea of having hens for some time.  I first had the thought put into my head years ago, when daughter's nursery school teacher commented that since we'd extended the garden, we now had enough room to have a few hens.  More recently I've been working with a colleague who keeps hens, http://connectedpeasant.blogspot.co.uk/ and recommends them.  

After watching this video, I realised I had never held a hen, so I went on a chicken keeping course (a hen party) where I got to see all sorts of breeds of hens, lots of hutches, learned what to feed them, and held hens.
Then, I had to get something for them to live in.  That took a lot of thought, with people advising me to go for a cheap but less easy to clean option - the wooden hutch. Such people don't realise that we don't have running water and a hose pipe in our garden.  We do have a well but it's not usable because the pump handle's broken, and we make do with the modern fad for water barrels, some of which collect old ivy leaves or breed mosquito larva.

I wanted an Omlet Eglu but someone advised us to get a hutch that we didn't have to bend down for.  Then Omlet brought out this high rise one.  So that's what we got.  Here is how you might put it together:

Then we went to a local breeder and selected some chickens. So now we have three young hens, red, white and blue.  We'll wait for them to settle and we're told they'll start to lay eggs in a few weeks.

The adventures start.  Yesterday evening, I wanted to put them away, and they haven't yet learnt to go up their ladder into their hutch so I have to put them in.  I caught the blue and put her in round the back, then the red, and put her in, but before I got the back door shut the blue was out!  More adventurous than I'd realised, she was off!  I grabbed the white, put her away and closed all doors before I went in chase of Belle the blue.  First she went off down the bottom of the garden, which could have been a disaster for catching her, but I managed to head her off again towards the house and the top pond, where I realised was fenced (to stop grandchildren falling in).  With husband's help, we chased her into a corner, pulling the fencing round behind her, until she was stuck between a water barrel and a window.  On the other side of the window, Diana, the cat was watching.   Diana was up on the glass, hen and cat were scared and intrigued by each other.  I grabbed the hen. "Squarhelp!" What a squawk!

I guess hens and cats have a mutual agreement - they watch each other, but keep away - that way, they'll get on.

Daughter's commencement

We went to Dublin to see daughter at her Commencement - that's what they call it when you begin or commence into academic status as a Master.  She's commenced her mastery of linguistics.  Now she's going to combine her maths and linguistics in researching and analysing computationally.  Well done her.  She's going to be a useful woman.

It's interesting that she's in Dublin, the place where her great grandfather came from. Like daughter, he was interested in languages, apparently winning a medal for Gaelic as a child, being the first in Ireland.  I wonder how his mother would react, watching her descendant, sewing like she did, but in this university, the one that the arch bishop told them not to go to!

IN the evening, daughter had arranged for us to attend the common supper at the university as a celebration.  We were puzzled when we arrived to find only two tables listed for the guests who had been at the Commencement, but when we entered the hall we found it full.  At most benches, sat a hundred or more undergraduates and graduates (scholars), at the top table sat begowned fellows, and we guests sat at these two tables that white table cloths, wine glasses, and red material covered (hard) chairs.  Prompt at six, one of the servants strode from the top table to the huge entrance door and slammed it shut, whereupon all the scholars and fellows rose to their feet with a shout.  Then someone at the top table said grace in Latin.  It was a rather longer grace than I heard at Oxford and not in words that I recognised. When grace was over, we all sat and supped.  After the main course was over, a similar routine took place in that something banged, everyone stood, grace was said, the door opened and scholars and fellows trooped out leaving us guests to have sweet course and a coffee.  Very nice.

A word on the scholars at Trinity.  It seems that in their second year, some undergraduates are invited to sit the scholarship exam.  Achieving it, gives the student status as a scholar, which comes with free fees, free accommodation and a free meal once a day for the rest of their time studying there, including not only their undergraduate studies but subsequent masters and PhD work too!  Doesn't that encourage the best to stay on to research!

Wisteria

This year our wisteria has bloomed more than it ever has before, more than several years together, and it smells gorgeous too.  It's not good blooming in comparison to most wisteria plants but it's good this year.  It's not a happy plant in that conservatory; it would be better exposed to the elements again, and goodness knows how it get enough water because though it leaks in there, it's not like there's ever a deluge of rain water.  However, since we have a well in the garden and a well in the house, I wouldn't be surprised if there's an underground stream from which this wisteria can feed.
Apparently, Victorians used to plant a wisteria next to a new house - I wonder why. I suppose this wisteria was planted circa 1902 when the sitting room was added to the older part of the house.